There are plenty of times when parents question why they are still together. They may have little time to celebrate their own relationship and be busy with work, taking care of their children and surviving.
In a lot of cases, parents decide to stay together despite being unhappy with one another. They do it for their children, believing that remaining together is more stable and a better environment. While this can be true, it isn’t always the right answer.
Should parents stay together for the benefit of their children?
It depends on how you work together. If you can both live your own lives and support your children in a peaceful environment, then this kind of relationship, though not romantic, might work for you. For couples who bicker and argue, this decision could be more harmful to the children than they would expect.
Some parenting specialists believe that living with parents who are in an unhappy marriage or living in chaos learn bad parenting techniques themselves. If a marriage is argumentative or tumultuous, the divorce may actually be a welcome relief to children who live in that constant state of negativity, fear or anger. Of course, when one spouse has a substance abuse problem or is abusive, removing a child from that situation is the best choice.
Remember that when unhappy parents finally separate, they may become happier and, in turn, spend more time with their children thanks to a reduction in conflict and stress.
On the other side, there are parenting experts who argue that parents who are capable of keeping conflict out of the home may want to stay married for the sake of their children. A divorce can affect everyone negatively. It may create problems financially, as a result of changing work schedules or even because of changing schools in Minnesota or being busy with other responsibilities. Children get less time with their parents, and the situation may be less stable.
Whether you should separate or divorce your spouse is up to you and the specifics of your situation, but your child’s care should be carefully considered. If your relationship has soured and has become conflicted, now may be the time to divorce and remove your child from the situation. If not, then you have time to wait and consider other alternatives and if a divorce is really what you think is best for your relationship and your child.