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Lakeville Family Law Blog

Will overwork end your marriage?

You put a lot of time and effort into your career. That means long hours. It means dedication to your work that goes beyond everything else. While you pride yourself on that dedication, you also wonder if it is going to take a toll on your relationships.

It may. Studies have found that overwork can lead to divorce. To see why, take a look at these statistics:

  • Workers average 90,000 hours on the job in their lives.
  • Annually, workers spend roughly 100 hours in the car, driving to or from work.
  • 25% of Americans claim that nothing brings on more stress than their jobs.
  • People also tend to gain weight at work, with 26% adding over 10 pounds.

Are you in line for an empty nest divorce?

That last child walks into their college dorm, and you stand in the parking lot with your spouse, trying to wrap your head around the fact that you're now empty-nesters. You have three children. One is married and the other two are in school. No one lives at home anymore.

As you drive back to your house, you don't know how to feel. For the last 25 years, you've been parents. You haven't thought about what it means to be a couple or how to live outside of that parental identity. With your child gone, you now have to figure it out.

Should you stay together for your kids?

There are plenty of times when parents question why they are still together. They may have little time to celebrate their own relationship and be busy with work, taking care of their children and surviving.

In a lot of cases, parents decide to stay together despite being unhappy with one another. They do it for their children, believing that remaining together is more stable and a better environment. While this can be true, it isn't always the right answer.

Why do people grow apart?

The end of a marriage does not have to be dramatic. It doesn't have to include arguments, fighting, infidelity, financial stress or anything else. It can simply be the result of two people growing apart over time.

Remember, your marriage is likely the longest relationship you have ever been in. After 20 or 30 years, are you still the same person you were on your wedding day? Is your spouse? Times change and so do people. You can drift apart and eventually wake up to realize you don't think the relationship makes sense anymore. It happens.

How to properly prepare your finances for divorce

Regardless of your reason for divorce, it's imperative to turn your immediate attention to your finances. Neglecting to do so early on in the process can result in additional challenges in the future.

Here are five of the most important things you can do:

  • Gather all financial records: Not only are these necessary for the divorce process itself, but they will also help you better understand your financial situation. Financial records commonly include paystubs, tax statements, retirement account statements and bank account statements.
  • Make a list of assets and debts: A property division checklist will help you separate individual and marital property. Just the same, a list of your debts will provide a clear idea of what you may have to take on as part of your divorce settlement.
  • Open your own accounts: Gone are the days of using joint accounts. It's time to open your own, as this gives you full control over your finances. For example, open your own checking account, savings account and credit card.
  • Review your expenses: Knowing your current expenses will allow you to adjust them accordingly for future financial stability. Since your household income is likely to change, it's critical to know exactly what you can afford each month.
  • Get professional help: There are many types of professionals who can assist you when preparing your finances for divorce. In addition to a family law attorney, consult with a financial planner and your tax professional. There's a good chance you're overlooking something of importance, but these professionals can provide all the guidance you need.

A big age difference could lead to a late-in-life divorce

You didn't meet your spouse until much later on in life. Perhaps you were in your late 30s, and you'd focused on your business for most of your life. Your spouse, when you started dating, was just in their early 20s. They were going to college nearby, and the two of you had no idea how big the age difference was when you first met.

You didn't find out until your third date. By that time, it was so clear that you had hit it off that you decided it must not be a big deal. You kept dating and eventually got married. You never really thought twice about it. You felt and acted young for your age, and your spouse seemed mature for theirs, so it worked perfectly and you clicked.

Working night shifts can end your marriage

When you were single, you liked working night shifts. They even felt a bit exciting at first. They paid pretty well. It took some adjusting to get used to the schedule, but you enjoyed having some free time during the day, when everyone else was at work in Lakeville.

After you got married, though, you found it harder to balance your schedule. Your spouse did not work night shifts, even though you did. Could this pose a problem?

4 things to consider if you are thinking about a gray divorce

Since 1990, gray divorce has been on the rise. Couples who got married in their twenties, had children and raised a family suddenly find themselves wondering why they are still together after the kids have left the nest. In many cases, the love felt in those early years has faded away.

Some couples realize that the only thing they had in common was the kids. However, the idea of divorcing after the age of 50 can be terrifying for a lot of people. But, like with most life changes, a little bit of planning and preparation can go a long way to help you get ready for your new life.

Why isn't your relationship fulfilling?

Your relationship should be fine, you keep telling yourself. You and your spouse both make plenty of money. Neither one of you has been unfaithful to the relationship. You haven't gone through any big changes like job loss, weight gain or sickness and disease. You have a nice house in a nice neighborhood and you drive a recent-model luxury car.

In short, you feel like the very picture of the American Dream. You have what all of your friends wish they had. And yet you're still considering ending it and getting a divorce.

After divorce, turn your attention to co-parenting

As your marriage comes to an end, you have no choice but to turn your attention to the future. For people with children, a focus on co-parenting is an absolute must. Even if you're not getting along with your ex-spouse, you should work together to provide your children with stability moving forward.

Co-parenting is easier said than done, as you and your ex may not have the same idea on how to raise your children. Here are five things you can do to get on the same page, while minimizing the risk of a serious argument:

  • Take everyone's feelings into consideration: Your children come first, but don't overlook how your ex is feeling during this time. When you put yourself in their shoes, you won't make decisions that harm them.
  • Pick your battles very carefully: There will be times when you have no choice but to push back on your ex, even if you know it will cause an argument. While it's okay to do so every now and again, pick your battles carefully. If every disagreement turns into a major fight, you'll find it difficult to establish any type of co-parenting routine.
  • Find a way to communicate effectively: Some divorced couples are okay with the idea of communicating in person and over the phone. Others don't like this approach, so they rely on email and text messages. As long as you find something that works for the both of you, communication shouldn't be an issue.
  • Don't get in the way: When your children are with your ex, do your best to stay out of the picture. Don't show up early to pick up your children. Don't send one text message after the next. Instead, respect their time together.
  • Avoid discussing your personal life: Now that your marriage is in the past, you don't have to share details of your personal life with your ex. Even if they ask, you can simply say "I'd rather keep that part of my life to myself."
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Dwire Law Offices, P.A.
20686 Holyoke Avenue
P.O. Box 427
Lakeville, MN 55044

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