Lakeville Family Law Blog

Since 1990, gray divorce has been on the rise. Couples who got married in their twenties, had children and raised a family suddenly find themselves wondering why they are still together after the kids have left the nest. In many cases, the love felt in those early years has faded away.

Some couples realize that the only thing they had in common was the kids. However, the idea of divorcing after the age of 50 can be terrifying for a lot of people. But, like with most life changes, a little bit of planning and preparation can go a long way to help you get ready for your new life.

As your marriage comes to an end, you have no choice but to turn your attention to the future. For people with children, a focus on co-parenting is an absolute must. Even if you're not getting along with your ex-spouse, you should work together to provide your children with stability moving forward.

Co-parenting is easier said than done, as you and your ex may not have the same idea on how to raise your children. Here are five things you can do to get on the same page, while minimizing the risk of a serious argument:

• Take everyone's feelings into consideration: Your children come first, but don't overlook how your ex is feeling during this time. When you put yourself in their shoes, you won't make decisions that harm them.
• Pick your battles very carefully: There will be times when you have no choice but to push back on your ex, even if you know it will cause an argument. While it's okay to do so every now and again, pick your battles carefully. If every disagreement turns into a major fight, you'll find it difficult to establish any type of co-parenting routine.
• Find a way to communicate effectively: Some divorced couples are okay with the idea of communicating in person and over the phone. Others don't like this approach, so they rely on email and text messages. As long as you find something that works for the both of you, communication shouldn't be an issue.
• Don't get in the way: When your children are with your ex, do your best to stay out of the picture. Don't show up early to pick up your children. Don't send one text message after the next. Instead, respect their time together.
• Avoid discussing your personal life: Now that your marriage is in the past, you don't have to share details of your personal life with your ex. Even if they ask, you can simply say "I'd rather keep that part of my life to myself."

Your children have to go through a lot of changes. Not only do they deal with this at school and with their friends, but they also have a huge one to go through if you and their other parent divorce. This is a trying time for children, but they are usually adaptable enough to thrive despite the major adjustments they need to make.

As a parent, you might want to keep your children protected. While this is understandable, the time around your divorce is one during which you should work with your children to give them the skills and tools they need to cope with major life changes.

It's frightening to think about going a night without your children at home with you, but if you're in throes of a contentious child custody dispute, that's a reality you may need to face. Depending on how your child custody case ends, you may be lucky to receive full physical custody -- meaning your children live with you full-time -- or you might become the non-custodial parent who only has visitation rights.

It's difficult to predict exactly how a court will decide a child custody disagreement, but the following information may give you a clue as to what your end-results could be.