Attorney Todd Dwire speaking with staff member in conference room

We See The Big Picture In Family Law

Why do people grow apart?

On Behalf of | Aug 9, 2019 | Firm News |

The end of a marriage does not have to be dramatic. It doesn’t have to include arguments, fighting, infidelity, financial stress or anything else. It can simply be the result of two people growing apart over time.

Remember, your marriage is likely the longest relationship you have ever been in. After 20 or 30 years, are you still the same person you were on your wedding day? Is your spouse? Times change and so do people. You can drift apart and eventually wake up to realize you don’t think the relationship makes sense anymore. It happens.

Why does it happen? There are plenty of reasons, and some couples can’t pinpoint one at all. Every relationship is unique. That said, here are a few common ones:

1. Work puts too much pressure on one or both of the individuals

Many people focus heavily on their careers in the United States. That’s not always easy. A thriving career — or what appears to be one from the outside — can consist of many long nights at the office and weekends working on projects. It can come with a lot of stress to produce or risk losing it all. This pressure adds up and eventually starts changing the couple’s relationship. They don’t have the time to spend together. They feel stressed out and anxious constantly. They become more devoted to the career than the marriage.

2. The people change as they grow up

This is especially an issue with those who get married young, such as people who tie the knot at 18 or 19. Brain development is not even complete at that point. They still have a lot of maturing and growing up to do. As they change, they may not change in sync with their partner. Both people can grow apart as they become new, older, more experienced versions of themselves.

3. They spend too much time apart

Couples who cannot live with each other tend to drift apart in their relationships just because everything starts to feel different when you don’t give time to one another. Someone who travels a lot for work — a soldier who gets deployed for months on end, for instance — may feel like they know their spouse a little bit less each time they return. Someone whose job requires constant travel — such as an actor or actress — may feel like there is no way to balance that career and time with their family.

Now what?

Do you think you and your spouse are drifting apart and you’re headed for divorce? If so, it is important to take the time to look into all of your legal rights in Minnesota.


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