Your relationship should be fine, you keep telling yourself. You and your spouse both make plenty of money. Neither one of you has been unfaithful to the relationship. You haven’t gone through any big changes like job loss, weight gain or sickness and disease. You have a nice house in a nice neighborhood and you drive a recent-model luxury car.
In short, you feel like the very picture of the American Dream. You have what all of your friends wish they had. And yet you’re still considering ending it and getting a divorce.
The problem could be deeper than all of these outside appearances, the things the other people know about you. The true issue could be that you feel no emotional connection and you just do not feel fulfilled by the relationship anymore.
There’s something in people that needs that connection, that fulfillment. If you don’t get it, even when everything else is great, you crave it. That longing can be enough to make you realize that you need a new relationship or you will never be fully happy in life. A few reasons why people feel so unfulfilled include:
1. The relationship doesn’t challenge and engage you
Maybe you don’t share any hobbies and interests. You’re out traveling the world while your spouse stays home to watch Netflix. Not that there is anything wrong with either pastime, but the fact that you like such vastly different things makes the relationship feel boring. It’s not engaging, it’s not challenging and you don’t get that much enjoyment out of it. You basically feel like you’re living on your own anyway.
2. The physical intimacy isn’t there anymore
Maybe the real issue here is that the physical side of the relationship was the main part of that relationship when you first got together. It has waned over the years, and you just can’t find that spark that you used to have.
3. Every little thing feels like an argument
It gets to the point that you don’t even want to talk because you know your spouse will challenge you. Even little things like what to have for dinner or what present to get a friend for their birthday party become points of contention. You can shrug some of them off, but you can’t live like that forever.
4. You don’t have much time together
Life gets busy, and couples often feel pulled away by work, children, friends, schools and a lot of other things. However, as you spend more and more time apart, you feel yourselves drifting apart emotionally, as well.
No matter why your relationship is ending or how perfect it looks from the outside, you know how you really feel. Make sure you also know what legal steps to take as you move toward divorce.