Did you start receiving loads of unsolicited advice as soon as you announced your divorce to your loved ones and colleagues? If your answer to this question is “yes” please know that you are not alone. Unsolicited divorce-related advice is a startlingly common occurrence.
Once you receive unsolicited advice, it can be difficult to know just how to process it. Even if you intend to ignore it, such advice can affect you subconsciously. It is therefore important to approach this kind of advice thoughtfully and intentionally.
The advice hierarchy
One helpful tip you can utilize when processing divorce-related advice is to construct an “advice hierarchy.” Essentially, this means figuring out whose advice you will take into consideration and whose advice you will process with a grain of salt.
For example, seeking guidance provided by an attorney who is experienced and trustworthy is generally a good idea. You may also find it helpful to thoughtfully consider advice given to you by loved ones who know you particularly well.
On the other hand, you may want to treat unsolicited advice given by acquaintances and individuals whose personalities are quite unlike yours with a grain of salt. Their advice may be well-meaning, but it may not work particularly well for you or your situation.
The good, the bad and the ugly
However, it is also important to note that even advice given by trustworthy and knowledgeable sources may not be right for you. And some advice given by unlikely sources may prove to be valuable. To some extent, you must trust your instincts when determining which advice is “good” advice for you and your situation.
If you are overwhelmed and are unsure of what advice is worth following, seeking out the guidance of a counselor may prove helpful. After all, it is not uncommon to struggle with reading one’s instincts during periods of emotional upheaval and divorce can certainly inspire such a span of time.