Knowing when it’s time to divorce is never easy. Even in cases when the decision should be clear-cut and obvious — like in situations of substance abuse, domestic violence or infidelity — spouses may deliberate for years before they finally pull the trigger on their divorces.
In order to help you navigate your decision-making process, we’ve included four important questions that every spouse should ask before deciding whether the time is right to file.
Did you clearly tell your spouse about your relationship problems and how serious they are?
Some spouses get into the routine of marriage and come to take it for granted. You might think you’ve told your spouse you have a problem with an aspect of the relationship, but unless you’ve clearly stated it will result in divorce, you may not have conveyed the gravity of the situation. This kind of clear communication has saved many marriages from ruin.
Do you and your spouse have the same philosophy on partnership?
It’s important that both spouses share the same relationship philosophies and goals. Perhaps one spouse believes they should go out to parties and social events as a couple, and the other spouse prefers stay home and read a book. This could be a point of conflict. Or, maybe one spouse feels the both of them should be working, but the other spouse prefers to stay home and take care of the house.
If there are philosophical differences between the partners that cause one or both of them to feel unsatisfied in the relationship, this could be a good reason to bring the marriage to a close, especially if they can’t resolve their differences.
Do you think you’ll be happier without your partner?
This is an interesting question because it reminds spouses of why they entered their marriages in the first place. We enter into partnership to bring more happiness into our lives. If your marriage is a drain on your sense of happiness and fulfillment rather than the other way around, you might want to consider leaving it to seek a happier and more fulfilling life on your own.
Are you still in love and still attracted to your partner?
Some spouses enjoy a “business” kind of partnership without any kind of sexual contact, rather than a passionate “love” relationship with lots of physical chemistry. If they are happy to maintain a marriage like this, that’s fine.
However, some spouses have deeper needs that can only be met in a love-filled partnership that satisfies their desire for physical connection. If you’re stuck in a relationship that doesn’t meet your needs for intimacy, it’s certainly your right to end the marriage.
If you’ve decided to end your marriage, a better understanding of Minnesota family law will help you navigate your divorce in the most peaceful, cost-effective and speedy fashion possible.