When Minnesota residents are going through a complicated divorce, it’s important for them to keep their eyes on the day when it will all be over and they can finally get on with their lives. Otherwise, the stresses of the divorce process can really take their toll.
Another way to stay “sane” during a divorce is to know what to expect ahead of time. This way, certain factors that will definitely test the average person’s patience will not come as a surprise and they will be easier to navigate. With this in mind, here are three unexpected effects of divorce that everyone should be aware of:
1. “Amicable” divorces are a fantasy
We’ve all heard our friends break the news of divorce by saying something like this, “Tom and I have made the difficult decision to bring our marriage to a close, but we don’t want you to worry about us because it’s amicable.” This magical word, amicable, has a way of calming everyone down and helping friends and family breathe a sigh of relief, but it might not be entirely honest.
The truth is, truly amicable divorces — in which both spouses walk down the aisle of the divorce courtroom, and peacefully say goodbye to one another with friendly smiles on their faces — are extremely rare. A divorce is the symbol of lost dreams, lost futures and lost hopes. It will likely be a scary and painful process that triggers ugly reactions from both sides of the marriage. Therefore, the best-intentioned spouses should not be surprised if their would-be amicable divorce process turns a little bit sour at some point along the way.
2. Mutual friends will be lost
It’s difficult for people to maintain alliances with both sides of a divorce. People who used to be mutual friends will usually take a side. Then, the other side may not see these people or spend time with them again. It may take months or years after the divorce for it to become apparent which side the friends are actually on. Unfortunately, this is simply part of the divorce process that spouses must accept no matter how difficult it is.
3. Children make things exponentially more difficult
There’s a reason why everyone breathes a sigh of relief when they find out that a divorce happened before the children were involved. It’s because children make divorcing harder. Parents will need to come to difficult decisions about child custody, child support parenting plans and visitation schedules. Not only that, but the children themselves may become more difficult. They may act out, become disrespectful, angry or argumentative.
Are you ready for the unexpected aspects of divorce?
It’s important for divorcing couples to keep in mind that suffering will be involved as a part of their marital breakups, and they may want to consider using a family counselor to work through all the challenges associated with the divorce process. They may also want to educate themselves on Minnesota family law, as it will help them better navigate all aspects of divorce.